Jam, My Best Friend and Confidante

Congratulations, Jam, my best friend and confidante, for finishing grade school with honors, both in academics and in co-curricular activity. Thank you for being my best friend and one of the main sources of my strength in the most difficult times. Your achievement is made more significant in the light of the special circumstances that we face as a family.

Thank you, my not so little princess, for always being there for me. I love you.

Always,
Mom

down with malevolence!

today as we celebrate international human rights day, let us take small but concrete steps to eradicate injustices in this world, whether minute or monumental, whether personal or phenomenal. down with malevolence! down with impunity! down with the power-trippers!

unloved

if i were you...i'd be singing this right now:

nobody loves me. everybody hates me. i'm gonna eat some worms. big fat juicy worms, long thin slimy worms. first you suck the guts out....la, la, la, la, la!

boohoo, don't wanna be you!

Revelation

Yesterday was a revelation.

My heroes of old were there and I was pushed back into the past, a welcome change from the oppressive present. One hero, still shining and true, remains.

A new one, recently discovered showed how heroism is not only of the kind that speaks to crowds to inspire. It can be a song or years dedicated to the academe. Or a helping hand when it is needed.

Another hero from the past, remained true as always, with his booming voice and unwavering commitment to the true and the just.

Yet another hero from the past, peeked out and came ressurrected, if only for a fleeting moment. I hope that he remembers who he was and what he stood for.

To heroes, past, present and constant. Thank you for the light you give when darkness abounds.

each day is a blessing

anzo has been having high fever since yesterday. i am praying that it is just viral and not dengue or anything more serious. what bothers me most is that he is complaining that his head hurts very badly.

all this while i have to prepare a pleading for a client at ola and of course catch up on my reading for class.

last night, i got really angry at miggy this time for not doing his homework properly and quickly. usually it is jam who gets scolded for such.

afterwards, miggy and i went out to buy what he needed for his projects.

i asked him and jam whether they wanted me to just quit law school as it frustrates me so much that i feel so incompetent and inadequate as a mother and performing so dismally as a law student. why not just focus on being a better mother and give up the dream of graduating from law school and passing the bar?

but they both told me to go on, having suffered and sacrificed so much, particularly with our difficult circumstances. what with miggy still battling leukemia and me having to be both mother and father to the three of them?

so, in the wee hours of the morning, i took care of anzo until his temperature went down from 38.8 to normal and he was asleep again.

then i did the revisions to the pleading.

yes, each day is a blessing.

God is good and merciful and by God's grace, we will survive all these.

Thank you, dear God, for every day that you give me.

Help me to be a better mother and a better person.

Please protect my babies and help them grow up to healthy, happy and good persons.

Thank you.

The Day Anzo Finds Christmas

On Christmas eve, little Anzo was playing with his toys in his room.

Anzo went out of the house and looked up at the sky.

He wondered out loud, “I can hear christmas carols everywhere.”

Anzo looked out to the neighbor’s house and saw christmas decor and bright lights.

They all looked very pretty and gay.

Anzo walked around the garden and thought, “Christmas is a happy time for everyone. But I wonder what it is really all about?”

While Anzo was sitting near the flowerbeds in the garden, he heard something. Suddenly, a reindeer appeared beside him, coming out of nowhere.

The reindeer said, “Hi, my name is Dancer. I am waiting for my master, St. Nicholas.”

Anzo asked Dancer why he was waiting for his master in Anzo’s garden.

Dancer said, “Every year, each of Santa’s reindeer get to visit a boy who wants to know what Christmas is all about. This year, I though that maybe I should visit you because I heard you asking yourself what Christmas is about.”

Anzo said, “Oh, really. Thank you for coming to visit me! Where is St. Nicholas now?”

Dancer told Anzo that St. Nicholas is in one of the nearby houses visiting a sick boy, bringing him toys.

Suddenly, Anzo saw what St. Nicholas was doing, like he was right there in front of St. Nicholas.

Anzo saw that St. Nicholas was talking to the little boy while the boy lay down on the bed, looking very pale and sick.

Anzo also noticed that the boy was also very happy even if he was lying in bed and was not feeling well.

Anzo now knows that Christmas is all about love and giving and sharing with your loved ones.

Today, Anzo learned that it can also be Christmas every day, if people love one another and give and share every day.

Anzo learned that Christmas is all about love.

losing sleep, losing sight

been losing sleep these past few months. more so, these past few weeks.

but the sleepless nights affords me some new perspective on things.

earlier today, i was also losing heart.

but at the end of the day, three things went right for me:
(1) a friend has not lost hope after all;
(2) a client has closed one door and opened another for himself;
(3) my son is fine despite two mishaps today.

and some quality time spent with my kids, my daughter especially, set things right for me.

and an added bonus came around midnight.

yes, despite all the muck dished out at me by fate, circumstance or sheer lack of humanity, life is still good to me.

so, take that world indeed!